 I met a pastor last weekend and, in the course of conversation he said, "It's hard sometimes." He was speaking of leading a church. No surprise there. I asked, "What's the hardest thing about it for you?" Having been raised around church leadership and involved in some type of church ministry for most of my life, I half expected to hear one of the two most common complaints of pastors--or for that matter, of people in general. Complaints about life. Not just church life. "Finances. We need more money." "People. Difficult, annoying, immature people." But he said none of those. Instead, without hesitation, he answered, "The hardest thing is seeing desperate needs all around me, and feeling helpless to meet them." His words left me humbled, speechless inside. I felt as if I were standing on holy ground in that moment, myself in desperate need of cleansing. I don't always have the heart of a shepherd, as my pastor-husband has. As this man has. As every believer is supposed to have. Too often I've allowed the messy business of leading get in the way of tending to the needs of sheep. But today... I'm thinking of needs, dire needs. And of the Gentle Shepherd and what the tax collector saw in His face that day, and wrote down so we will never forget how to be: "When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd." --Matthew 9:36
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Recently a former pastor said to me, "I appreciate what you're doing. I've been there, done that--going door-to-door, trying to get people to come to church. I know what it's like."
My stomach turned. The last thing I want to do is grow "Club Church." Get people to become a member. Pay their dues. Receive "club member benefits." Learn the secret handshake. Yeah, I've been there, done that, too. And frankly, I'm sick of it. If I go "door-to-door" in our little church's community, it's not to grow the church club--it's to build the Kingdom of God. When I look at a person, I don't want to see a potential new church member; I want to see a new citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven. Because I happen to believe that, without God, we can't live life the way it was meant to be lived. We say these things, those of us who "get it" when it comes to understanding what the church really is (It's "people", people!) But here's the thing: I want to mean it. In my heart of hearts, I want no walls of any kind when it comes to relating to others. I want to like people for who they are, not for what they can offer, inside or outside the building and all the policy and politics that come with it. But how do you do that? How do you maintain loving and transparent relationships within the context of necessary church structure? How do you see past the four walls and keep enjoying people--inside or outside the walls--simply for who they are? Some would say you leave the building. Here's a news flash: Jesus taught in the synagogue, daily. Talk about man-made tradition! He sat there, listening to the religious prudes read about Him while denying Him at the same time. But He stayed, because that's where the people were. "The institution" was the platform His Father gave Him for teaching the truth. Standing up in the temple, reading from the scrolls--those were simply the vehicle for his message: "I have come to give you life outside these walls!" So. As much as a part of me would love to, I'm not leaving the church. But I am quitting the church--at least, the church as we know it. And quitting is a process. I still find myself, too often, engaged in "club mentality": We need more help. We need this or that program. We need, need, need, need, need. For what? To grow the club? Rubbish! We need God's presence, and we need it now. To love each other better, so we can grow His Kingdom together and change this crazy world.  Image credit: blog.speakupmovement.org I recently stumbled across an article that lists "the ten real reasons pastors quit too soon":
1. Discouragement 2. Failure 3. Loneliness 4. Moral Failure 5. Financial Pressure 6. Anger 7. Burnout 8. Physical health 9. Marriage/Family problems 10. Too busy As a co-pastor (with my husband) of a one-year-old church, here are my thoughts on each of those points, and the reasons I don't see us quitting any time soon: 1. Discouragement is due in large part to criticism, and being a woman in the pulpit makes me an even bigger target. Criticism (and sexism) is never going to go away, which means I either become discouraged along with all the other discouraged pastors out there-- or I develop tough skin. One thing I'm learning as I grow: tough skin makes a person harder to chew. 2. A sense of failure in the ministry is directly related to one's definition of success. If success means large attendance or big offerings, it's easy to see why more than 1,700 pastors leave the ministry every month, as the article states. But if "success" means lives transformed by the power of Christ, and if that vision permeates everything we do in the local church, success is imminent. 3. Loneliness is common among ministers who embrace a false notion that they should not be authentic, that they should hide their weaknesses and let everyone think they are spiritually superior in some way. If more pastors would embrace their humanity by fostering transparency in relationships with those they serve, and quit hiding behind a super-nice, super-saintly and super-human front, they wouldn't be so lonely. 4. Moral failures happen because ministers aren't accountable to others, and, plainly put, do stupid stuff-- like counseling the opposite sex alone behind closed doors, and hiding unfiltered internet usage from view of their spouses. I personally have an accountability partner, a "sister" I report to at least once a week, to help me overcome bad habits and live a better life before God and before others. No one is above the need for accountability. 5. If one's financial happiness is directly linked to the wallets of those to whom they minister, you can bet there's going to be pressure. Pressure to perform in the pulpit, Sunday after Sunday--not to see lives changed, but to see more pocket change. This is why Dave and I have made the personal choice to be volunteer pastors, even though we've been questioned about our decision, and urged to take a salary. It has even been suggested that our motives were born of pride in being able to say we don't take a penny from the offerings. But a recent scenario confirmed to us all over again that we've made the right decision, at least for now. We hosted a community event, and as I sat there and looked around, I realized many of those in attendance had come into hard times. Some were out of work. Additionally, our church is located in an economically depressed area, with the per capita income for the village being just over $17,000. How could we fathom passing the offering plate to these dear people? On the way home from the event, I said to Dave, "Can you imagine how it would change our view of the ministry if we looked to individuals for our livelihood?" We love that we can love our congregation for who they are, not for what's in their wallets. Here's another fact: In the church at large, some of biggest givers are also the biggest complainers, while some of the most supportive attendees are also the poorest. I can't speak for fellow pastors, but I'd rather have moral support than financial support any day. And besides all that, not taking a salary means we as a church have been able to give to missions in ways that are nothing short of astonishing. We give all the credit to God for this. 6. Anger (see numbers 1 - 10.) 7. Burnout (see numbers 1 - 10.) 8. Physical health. Pastors, just like everyone else, need to eat right, get enough sleep, and guard against unnecessary stress in their lives. If you are a pastor and stress is causing you health problems, re-read this post. 9. Marriage and family problems happen because too many ministers confuse doing the work of the ministry with a relationship with God. Here is what I believe is the proper ordering of priorities: God Family Ministry When ministers blur the lines between numbers one and three, number two suffers. Once again--put (your relationship with) God first, ministry to your family second, and ministry to others after that. 10. Hyper-busyness happens to ministers who don't empower others to do the work of the ministry. It happens when people look to the pastor as the only one qualified or expected to do outreach. Here's an idea: what if more people in the church started equating the word "Christian" with the word "minister," and stopped waiting for the pastor to do everything? Newsflash: you have the Spirit of God within you! Your bedside prayer in a hospital is as good as the pastor's. What if we erased the lines between "clergy" and "laymen" and started living by our own church's motto: "We are in this together." Imagine the possibilities! Burn out? No way! On fire? Yes! True, healthy growth? You bet! Dear Church Congregation:
Every pastor was once a layman, and as such should understand the things that people need to be assured of before climbing aboard this Godventure we call “the local church.”Having experienced untold joys and heartache from the church throughout our lives, we understand the wonderings and ponderings that accompany being a part of a new church plant. There are many blanks yet to be filled in when it comes to the future of this humble endeavor God has entrusted to all of our care. We don’t have all of the answers up front, but we do have some promises we’d like to make to you as we forge ahead together toward all that God has in store for us and for this community. Please tuck this in your hearts with the assurance that we mean every one of these words.Print it out if need be, post it on our church walls, wave it in our faces and press it in the palms of our hands should we ever forget…. 1. We love you. When I called my mother last fall to ask for any advice she may have as a former pastor’s wife, her only words were, “Just love those people. Love them well.” I took it to heart, and intend to keep it there. We can say with confidence that we love all of you because of the way Christ loves us. If He can bear with our many scruples, surely we can bear with yours, knowing that we are no different, no better. 2. We may fail to always show you that unconditional love. That is pretty much a guarantee. We don’t want to, don’t mean to and certainly don’t plan to. But in the event we should fall short of loving you as Christ loves the church… 3. … We want you to let us know. Please come to us and tell us where we have failed you. We can’t change unless we know where we need to change. But along with that request, we need to promise another thing…. 4. …We will be approachable, by God’s grace. We will not chastise you for pointing out where we have failed. The road of instruction from you to us is a level road; it is not an uphill climb. If you should ever be in dread of approaching us, it is to our shame. 5. We will serve you. We are not here to benefit from you. Our desire is to help you become all God has called you to be for His glory—not for our gain. 6. We will be faithful to you. We will walk in integrity and truth before you. We will not, by God’s grace, hide anything from you that would disqualify us from serving you. Of course these things are easy to say; if you ever at any point should see a red flag concerning anything we say or do, please bring it out into the light as quickly as possible. Hold us accountable to these words. 7. We will listen to you. We may not agree with what you have to say (as you will not always agree with us), but we will hear you out with our mouths shut, and take your words to God for consideration. You are our teachers as much as we are yours. 8. We will cover and protect you. Your struggles are safewith us. We want you to feel free to share openly and confidently without the fear of judgment or exposure.We know you will do the same for us when we share our struggles with you. 9. We will continually, by God’s grace, point you to Christ and not to ourselves or another human. If you see us getting off-center or self-centered, we humbly beg you to tell us. 10. “We are in this together.” That is our church motto. We mean it. Please promise to never let us forget. In grateful service, Dave and Faith  First some practical matters: Pictured is a really nice guy named Joe, from Fidelis Care, a Catholic-based, state-funded health insurance organization serving underprivileged families in NY state. Dave, Barry and I met with him last Monday to discuss how Fidelis can link with WNC in community outreach. Beyond placing registration info. in our Blessing Shop, Joe is excited about other ways he can partner with us, such as offering free pizza on our first movie night next month and setting up a give-away booth at Community Days. We were blessed to see such passion for helping those in need coming from Joe.
A community garden is in the works! One of our faithful volunteers, Belle, is reaching out to local businesses who are donating garden supplies for the project. Belle and I are planning to attend the ARC group home meeting on Main St. to discuss working with them and their residents by offering opportunities to "get their hands dirty" through garden care this summer. This organization, like Joe, somehow discovered WNC and caught the growing excitement. Dave and I met with the Community Days planning committee on Sunday and consider it a privilege to work hand in hand to serve this community and bring life back to it. Come out to the Community Days chicken BBQ fundraiser at the fire hall this Saturday at 11:00! Now then, on to spiritual matters.... As you might be noticing, if you have been attending WNC for the last few weeks, it seems we have achieved the coveted "visitor retention" that so many churches strive to attain through countless church growth seminars and books. (To quote someone, we prefer to "God-retention!") Visitors from the Wellsburg community are coming back to stay it seems; there is no revolving door at WNC. And the amazing thing is, we have done nothing proactively to make this happen, except to simply function together as the Body of Christ, each one doing what he or she is called to do according to our unique giftings (one of the most important gift being friendliness. You people are so warm and welcoming! This is the #1 thing people look for in a church). Having stated the above record of success, I ask, how do we respond within our hearts? It's tempting to feel smug, isn't it? To silently revel in the things we are doing right. I remember the day, years ago, I realized God was calling to me to the ministry. He gave me this verse to tuck in my heart and carry with me always: "...(W)alk humbly with your God" (Micah 6:8). I give that to you as well; tuck it in your hearts and carry it with you every step of your journey at WNC. That is the only way we will see continued success. We can't afford to get puffed up. People need the Lord, and we have the means to point them to Him. But our fingers must be pointed away from ourselves at all times. This also means away from other ministries. As was prayed at the National Day of Prayer Gathering last Thursday, "May we seek to love and protect our fellow shepherds as much as we do our own sheep." Will you join Dave and me in walking humbly with our God, to the best of our ability? We are thrilled about what God is doing at WNC. But we also possess a sober awareness that it could all go up in a cloud of prideful smoke if we're not careful to keep giving glory to Jesus for all He has done, is doing, and will do! "We're in this together," Faith |
AuthorFaith Bogdan Archives
November 2013
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